Our friends at Simply XO Events, Alexis and Jordyn, asked me to write an opinion piece of wedding tips. Back in Dec 2016 I wrote this “Top 10 things to know before planning your wedding” after my first year with Hype Rhythm. So after another 150+ weddings, I thought it would be interesting to review that material and see what I’ve learned in the three years since to critique my own advice… (Disclaimer: This is from the perspective of DJ Nick@Nite, not an inclusive list, etc.)

1. “Hire a wedding coordinator. Biggest piece of advice – You don’t know what you don’t know – and in this case they know what you don’t about what can and does go wrong all the time… Just know that a wedding planner is going to save you so much stress, time, and money…“
   • This is still my number #1 suggestion to people getting married. Coordinator should be one of the first people you talk to before locking in any vendor contracts.
2. “The dance segment should only be two hours, or a max of three if y’all are crazy partiers,… Even if you have your venue till midnight or the time could work out for four hours of dancing, DON’T do that to your guests. Two hours is the time frame that will leave guests saying “That was [a blast]” Three can work for those huge 200+ person weddings, or where the wedding party is crazy fun, or when the guests want to hear every danceable music genre (Country, Latin, other Cultural, etc. ) there is…”
   • This used to be number 10, but I had to move it up to number 2 because its so important to not overspend on the amount of time vendors will charge you for being at your wedding.
3. “Don’t plan for anything to be outdoors during December-February or June-August…“
   • I would half disagree with this advice today. The past three years during Dec-Feb have had amazing weather, and I love winter weddings. However, I’m still not a fan of summer weddings. There are only a few fully indoor venues that I’ve learned to trust in the power of their A/C. However, I still would never suggest an outdoor/barn reception during the summer – it’s torture.
4. “If you’re doing an early ceremony (at a separate location) that means you should have an early wedding reception too. Don’t make your guests wait. This is a usual tough decision for those having their weddings at churches that are required to happen around noon 12-3, but they don’t wanna serve dinner (or the venue won’t open up) till at least 5 or 6, leaving a 2-3 hour gap before beginning the reception…“
   • I say this so much that I feel like a crazy person. It’s okay to end at 9pm. Maybe have an optional party spot in mind, but don’t make your dance segment more than 2-3 hours. People really dislike waiting around in uncomfortable formal attire.
5. “…Do not skip or try to cut short the cocktail hour after the ceremony…”
   • I’ve come to learn that this is all dependent on your photographer and also if you’re gonna do pre-look photos. Half disagree because if you do pre-look, sometimes the cocktail hour can be 30 mins. But if you don’t, this is where your photographers wedding professionalism will be put to the test. A photographer who takes too long during the cocktail hour (for whatever reason) will throw the rest of the evening off, and as a DJ that shortens the dance segment. Then, forget it if they want to also do sunset photos because then the dance segment goes from a planned 2 hours to 1hr 15mins, which will fly by.
6. “The bride and groom should sneak away during the end of cocktail hour and eat their food… Pictures on average take about 45 minutes to do. Use those final 15 minutes of the cocktail hour to have the caterer [serve the couple appetizers or food] to eat. This way the bride and groom can go around to their guests individually during the dinnertime and thank them personally for coming, and still be able to enjoy the dance portion of the night.”
   • Wow, 2016 Nick knew his stuff! This one is huge as well. I’ve seen so many couples take less than ten bites out of their meal because as soon as they sit down they are inundated with people coming up to talk with them. Then after the wedding, the newlyweds are off to Whataburger to finish the wedding relay off. Classic scenario.
7. “No matter what, do not put the cake cutting after the dance segment has begun…”
   • Half disagree. Funny story, I asked my friends on Facebook what their opinion was on this. A few people agreed with me, however other coordinators and even a DJ commented saying their preferred way is cake cutting 30 mins after dancing begins. The argument is that guests are full after dinner and cake is too much too quickly – I don’t agree because let’s be honest, most wedding meals are not that filling and just cause its cut doesn’t mean you have to eat it right then anyways. I also think that coordinators who work with bands a lot are used to putting the cake cutting during a band’s break during the dance segment, so I get why they might like sticking to that traditional flow. DJ’s don’t take breaks though. I guess its tomato, toma-toe. But, my tomatoes are my favorite.
8. “Make sure your DJ fully knows what songs to NOT play that you OR your guests wouldn’t like… Also make sure you know your DJ’s policy on taking requests (especially those that are on the [DoNotPlay] list)…”
   • Yes to this! No one can read a book by its cover, and the same applies to the DJ. Usually the best thing to do is to go through a most requested wedding playlist and find all the ones you can’t stand. Also, Ive found that a lot of the DJs I know of are really bad at handling requests. Personally, the way I handle requests is to let the requester know that I can let them know if its on the playlist. If it’s not a good song choice or appropriate, I tell them it’s on the do not playlist (if it is) or that I don’t have it, but if they have another song in mind, I might have that one.
9. “It’s okay to take out the father-daughter/mother-son dance OR even the bouquet-toss/garter-removal. A lot more people do it than you would think...”
   • I am hoping that one day wedding will no longer have to suffer through the traditional garter toss. Hands down the hardest part of my day is getting guys up to catch the garter. A lot of coordinators I know also dislike the bouquet toss cause it singles out the singles. However I’m not against it, cause it also makes for fun pictures. Still torn.
10. “Always consider up-lighting for your venue. Start with going to Google and searching (your venue) + uplights…”
    • Yes to this! The disclaimer here is that only if your having your wedding at night and you have solid walls for the up-lights to protect up on. It really does make the venue feel a lot more elegant and well lit while not being too bright later during the night.
11. Bonus 2019 Tip: While it is tradition for the Best Man, Maid of Honor, and sometimes also the respective parents to say a toast or welcome, make sure you first evaluate if they are gonna say something stupid or if you can trust them and then you ask them (at least a month in advance) if they would like to say a toast at the wedding (not on the day of!)
    • I’ve heard some of the worst, cringe inducing toasts of all time so much that I now send all my couples a sheet they can send to their toasters on how to say a good wedding toast. Here is the summary: 1) How do you know (person 1)? 2) One quick story about that person and you (jokes, jokes, jokes) 3) When did you first meet the significant other 4) Quick story about them together 5) Tie it all together and wrap it up 6) Toast and Cheers to the newly weds!